CONSOLIDATE YOUR RESOLUTIONS FOR 2020
What would you do differently if you were to live the bygone year 2019
all over again??? Good question but how much will you retrospect and many days
of 2020 will you look in the rear view mirror?
Give up the past. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks
so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you
have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you
have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that
you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present.
In fact, decades of research on personal growth achievement suggests
that WINNERS IN LIFE reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more
often because of what they do.
DON’T MAKE
RESOLUTIONS, MAKE HABITS INSTEAD
Research says 80 percent of New Year’s
resolutions are over by mid-February. JANUARY 19th is
celebrated as Quitters Day.
The first
and most important thing: FORGIVE YOURSELF. Don’t make resolutions, make habits instead. Hence resolutions are
ideas whereas habits are actions;
actions we can control. Every person has already formed habits without even
thinking. Some are good, such as my habit of eating breakfast every day before
work or class, and some are not so good such as smoking, random snacking,
mobile time wasters. The resolutions you set at the beginning of the year can
either be done or not, but habits aren’t as static. They can change and adapt
and grow at any time throughout the year. Humans change and adapt and grow, so
our dreams and aspirations should do the same!
GET INTO ACTION- NOW
Focus on
what you will do, not what you won’t do. Do you want to
successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on your bad temper? Then
plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only
on the bad habits themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g., “Don’t
think about black cats!”) has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it
even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior —
by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than
broken.
If you want to change
your ways, ask yourself, WHAT WILL I DO INSTEAD? For example, if you are trying
to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a
plan like “If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths
to calm down.” By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your
anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears
completely
MIND GAMES: HOW
CAN I GET OUT OF MY WAY?
The mind is a powerful thing. We can do
big things when our mind is convinced we can do it. Know your go-to fears and
how you can unknowingly sabotage yourself. I often ask my clients, “If anything
gets in your way, what will it be?” Do you know the answer for yourself? A
recent client’s answer was, “I’m impatient and want immediate results, and this
goal will take some time.” The obvious next question was, “What happens when
you don’t get results quickly enough?” You guessed it: “I move on to something
else.” If immediate gratification is your kryptonite, break your dream into
tiny pieces to feed your desire to see faster progress.
KEEP YOU EYE ON THE BALL
AND ALWAYS ACT ON
YOUR GOALS.
Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it’s not
surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we
simply fail to notice them. Do first things first (only saying) and second
things never. Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities
before they slip through your fingers...and deciding to avoid some of dubious
value which don’t really add to your overall success. To seize the moment, decide
when and where you will take each action you want to take, in
advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., “If it’s Monday, Wednesday,
or Friday, I’ll clear my desk for 30
minutes before work.”) Studies show that this kind of planning will help your
brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your
chances of success by roughly 300%.
EXECUTION IS THE REAL TRICK TO CHANGE
New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Have to Be For a Full
Year Why
commit to 365 days when you haven’t even committed one day to your goal? Take
your goals and habits a day at a time. Try doing your new thing every day for a
week. Or 3 times a week for a month. Don’t set yourself up for failure by
telling yourself you have to do something for a year. If you want to start
going to the gym in the new year, try going once a week for a month. Then maybe
try going 3 times a week for 2 months. Then 4 times a week for 6 months. Start
small, both with your goals and your time. Starting small ensures a greater
success rate.
Tell
other people about your resolution. The more you put your plan out there, the
more friends and family you'll have to help keep you accountable, . Surround
yourself with supporters, not saboteurs. To set yourself up for max resolution
success, surround with people who you know will support your efforts—and maybe
even have similar goals themselves, suggests Ferrari. You don't have to avoid
the enabler friends altogether, but by spending less time with them and more
with the types of people who will encourage and support you, you'll be much
more likely to stay on track.
FINAL WORD THE WAY AHEAD
IN 2020
Begin afresh- be fully alive in the now. Why have you been so successful
in reaching some of your goals in 2019, but not others? It is my hope that,
after reading about these things successful people do differently, you have
gained some insight into all the things you have been doing right all along.
Even more important, I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have
derailed you, and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember,
you don’t need to become a different person to become a more successful one.
It’s never what you are, but what you do.
Best wishes
Dr Wilfred Monteiro
