CONSOLIDATE YOUR RESOLUTIONS FOR 2020
What would you do differently if you were to live the bygone year 2019 all over again??? Good question but how much will you retrospect and many days of 2020 will you look in the rear view mirror?
Give up the past. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present.
In fact, decades of research on personal growth achievement suggests that WINNERS IN LIFE reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.
DON’T MAKE RESOLUTIONS, MAKE HABITS INSTEAD
Research says 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions are over by mid-February. JANUARY 19th is celebrated as Quitters Day.
The first and most important thing: FORGIVE YOURSELF. Don’t make resolutions, make habits instead. Hence resolutions are ideas whereas habits are actions; actions we can control. Every person has already formed habits without even thinking. Some are good, such as my habit of eating breakfast every day before work or class, and some are not so good such as smoking, random snacking, mobile time wasters. The resolutions you set at the beginning of the year can either be done or not, but habits aren’t as static. They can change and adapt and grow at any time throughout the year. Humans change and adapt and grow, so our dreams and aspirations should do the same!
GET INTO ACTION- NOW
Focus on what you will do, not what you won’t do. Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g., “Don’t think about black cats!”) has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.
If you want to change your ways, ask yourself, WHAT WILL I DO INSTEAD? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like “If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down.” By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely
MIND GAMES: HOW CAN I GET OUT OF MY WAY?
The mind is a powerful thing. We can do big things when our mind is convinced we can do it. Know your go-to fears and how you can unknowingly sabotage yourself. I often ask my clients, “If anything gets in your way, what will it be?” Do you know the answer for yourself? A recent client’s answer was, “I’m impatient and want immediate results, and this goal will take some time.” The obvious next question was, “What happens when you don’t get results quickly enough?” You guessed it: “I move on to something else.” If immediate gratification is your kryptonite, break your dream into tiny pieces to feed your desire to see faster progress.
KEEP YOU EYE ON THE BALL AND ALWAYS ACT ON YOUR GOALS.
Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it’s not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Do first things first (only saying) and second things never. Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers...and deciding to avoid some of dubious value which don’t really add to your overall success. To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., “If it’s Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I’ll clear my desk for 30 minutes before work.”) Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.
EXECUTION IS THE REAL TRICK TO CHANGE
New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Have to Be For a Full Year Why commit to 365 days when you haven’t even committed one day to your goal? Take your goals and habits a day at a time. Try doing your new thing every day for a week. Or 3 times a week for a month. Don’t set yourself up for failure by telling yourself you have to do something for a year. If you want to start going to the gym in the new year, try going once a week for a month. Then maybe try going 3 times a week for 2 months. Then 4 times a week for 6 months. Start small, both with your goals and your time. Starting small ensures a greater success rate.
other people about your resolution. The more you put your plan out there, the
more friends and family you'll have to help keep you accountable, . Surround
yourself with supporters, not saboteurs. To set yourself up for max resolution
success, surround with people who you know will support your efforts—and maybe
even have similar goals themselves, suggests Ferrari. You don't have to avoid
the enabler friends altogether, but by spending less time with them and more
with the types of people who will encourage and support you, you'll be much
more likely to stay on track.
FINAL WORD THE WAY AHEAD IN 2020
Begin afresh- be fully alive in the now. Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals in 2019, but not others? It is my hope that, after reading about these things successful people do differently, you have gained some insight into all the things you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember, you don’t need to become a different person to become a more successful one. It’s never what you are, but what you do.
Dr Wilfred Monteiro